I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
