I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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