I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
this will be a night to untag.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize