i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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