can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
