Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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