Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
