everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
