it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
