just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
