at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My vagina is officially offended.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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