Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
he thought i was a dude.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize