There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
