Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
