You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My breasts were aching with rage.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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