She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
