some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
