dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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