just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
