Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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