I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
