she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
