Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
