just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Pants are for mortals
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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