you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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