I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
