just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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