Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize