I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
