just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
the day after is always just damage control
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Randomize
