I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
