On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
