Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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