i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
