you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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