So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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