Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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