This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
