I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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