i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
