I heard we made out
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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