tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
