Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
third nipple confirmed
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize