I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
she told me i tasted like america
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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