why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So much rum. So many feels.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
