Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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