She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
