people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
