mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
