Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
