My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
