i jhust puked up my retainher.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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