Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
