RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
