it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
