he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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