Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
