If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Randomize
