idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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